How not to kill a deer

Noone really knows when that little bambi baby dear was born. Noone needs to know, it is the way nature works, I guess.

Bambi grew up, had fun eating all the leaves the summer had to offer. Then it grew again, survived one cold New England winter, maybe two, maybe none yet.

Then it crossed my path. I had just moved in the area. I was in love with deers. In Chicago, there were deers, oh yes, there are deers in the windy city's suburbs. I would always stop and admire them. The kids were tired of the car stopping constantly for us to watch the animals. But they acted like good sports, they tried to share my enthusiasm of deers. 

The Chicago suburbs deers, strangely less feared by humans than the New England ones.

When I moved to the East Coast, I saw deers in the garden, in the forests but none on the streets like in River Forest (River Forest is a snob and beautiful suburb of Chicago).

Until one day in October when I drive up a hill and out of nowhere, a deer jumps in front of my car. The three kids are singing and giggling in the back. They do not notice anything. I have one second to decide what to do. There is a biker going down the hill, feets before me. There is a car, right behind the biker. There is no pavement on the right side, just a long type of hole.  There is a deer in front of me. There are three kids fooling around in the backseats. I do not have a choice. It is the deer or the biker. I continue my path, feel the deer under my car. The kids don't notice anything. I breathe heavily. The adrenaline is hurting. I stop the car, far enough for the kids not to turn around and see the deer. (I know, I should have stopped and removed the deer but at that time, I did not know the expectations of the big woods)

I call 311 (non-urgent police number in Chicago). There is no 311 here. OK then, I call 911, feeling stupid to do so. Two minutes later, a police officer comes. They send me the nicest one maybe because they heard my shaking voice on the phone. He reassures me, checks on my car, tells me it happens quite often. People kill deers because deers just jump in front of the cars. He has already called the animal service for me. He welcomes me to the area.

I am in tears. Did I just do that? I know, it was the deer or the biker. The half second left to take a decision went towards not hurting a man on a bike. But for weeks, I have nightmares of a community of deers seeking to take revenge. I drive as slow as the cars behind me let me. I avoid the highways, I avoid the dirt roads, I avoid the hill where the deer jumped on me. It is stupid and childish but I am traumatized by the poor deer that was on my way. The kids are sad too. They want to know if the deer made it, if she was healed. The boy who, for some reason uses the French word to say deer, tells his teacher that his mom hurt a biche. He does not say 'biche', he says: 'bitch'. The teacher is puzzled. At least, I am laughing.

Dear poor deer, I am sorry to have sent you to the deer hospital. I know it is a small event in the life big events, but still, I am sorry. We did not know when you were born, but we can put a date on your encounter with my car.

I still have no idea how to avoid deers to jump in front of my car. Deers and moose and bears and pheasants. I know they are more likely to be out at dawn or dusk, in the fall and in the spring. But how to avoid them to jump right in front of you? I do not know. If I were an engineer, I would design a small device attached to cars that would repell deers. Like the ultrasonic things you plug in and get the mice out of your house. Well I am not an engineer and I do not know how to avoid meeting deers and moose on the highways.

The nightmares are over and I started to annoy my children again. Each time I see deers, I stop everything and tell them to look at these beautiful animals. The deers come on the front porch, on the hill. We see them in the early morning, when we have breakfast, we see them sometimes at night, when we drive and they are peacefully eating the leaves from our trees. The boy still uses the word 'bitches' for 'deers' and I am not ready yet to correct him.

From what I read, deers are more likely to be out on the streets at dawn or dusk.

In hunting places, fall is the season when they are on the move. Watch out for deers running away from hunters.

Spring too is a busy season for deers. They have or will have their babies and they need to protect them.

Be careful. Always respect the speed limits.

If you see a deer crossing sign, slow down. It means deers are in the area or accidents already happened there before.

Apparently, you are supposed to look at the little eyes in the dark. I have tried doing that but if I do, I do not concentrate on the road. 

Your phone? Put it down. Away. Out.